I hold an assessment that I generally find it much easier to accept negative feedback than I do positive feedback. For me, negative feedback is an opportunity to grow, and so I welcome it. My relationship with positive feedback is a little more complex and I feel as though I am continually learning how to accept it in a way that serves me. I think it is because I went through a stage where I told myself that I shouldn’t need positive feedback, and so I refused to allow it to be important to me.
Recently, I found myself in yet another learning moment when I received some positive feedback via email. Although I feel as though I accepted the feedback graciously and gratefully, I don’t feel as though I was genuinely giving myself permission to accept, feel and believe the feedback.
Feedback, good or bad, is someone’s assessment, and it is up to us to determine whether we give authority to those assessments. However, I wasn’t even considering the feedback. I was simply saying thank you and then doing nothing with it.
This was fascinating. I have been working hard to make a name for myself as a coach, a writer, and a contributor to the ontological community. Yet, upon receiving positive feedback in these domains, I have simply ignored it and not allowed myself to take anything from it. I was curious about why this might be the case. It was interesting that I arrived right back at a much earlier exploration of being respect worthy. I like to think that I have really been trying to make a solid effort as a coach, a writer and a contributor to the ontological community. However, it occurred to me that I had not allowed myself to acknowledge that I was worthy of respect in each of these domains.
This led to an amazing reflection around being respect worthy and, in particular, what it would take for me to consider being respect worthy as a possibility for me in new situations. I also looked at how I could use positive feedback as an opportunity to learn. I had been assuming that there was nothing to learn from positive feedback; surely there was something?
In a moment of creativity, I decided that the next time I received positive feedback, I would accept it as an acknowledgement of my efforts to date, and I would visualise it finding its way through my body, into my heart and soul. If someone was taking the time to share their assessments, then perhaps I could show gratitude for their efforts by taking it on board and allowing it to serve me.
And so I did. I adjusted my shoulders, and I imagined the feedback flowing into my heart. I allowed myself to accept the acknowledgement of my efforts to date. And, I felt an amazing peace and comfort as I did so.
Points to Ponder…
- How are you accepting positive feedback?
- How is that serving you?
As a leadership and life coach, I help people explore how they are being in their interactions as leaders and in life. I use the Be. Do. Learn. approach to assist people in shifting their obstacles and turning them into pathways. If you feel that it would be useful to have a conversation with me, please contact me via the Leading and Being website or via email: firstname.lastname@example.org