What does it mean to be enough? I recently posted that I now feel as though I am enough. Afterwards, it occurred to me that I have never defined “enough” in this context. I then started to reflect on what it means to be enough.
I feel as though an important point here is that “enough” is an assessment and, being an assessment, it can’t be true or false. This means that the definition of “enough” will sit within each of us. What “enough” means to me will be different to what “enough” means to others, and that is ok. Your interpretation does not have to be the same as mine.
When I first started to receive coaching, I think that I was expecting to “solve” all of my perceived issues before the end of the coaching process. Further to this, I was also judging myself harshly for even having these issues in the first place. I can see now that I was expecting to learn permanent ways of never being anxious, or never doubting myself, or never procrastinating, or whatever the case may be. I was looking to solve those issues for myself permanently and to never experience them again. This was a source of great frustration for me at first, because every time I experienced any of these feelings, I thought that I had failed; if I had “got it right”, I would not be having this experience.
It took some time for me to form the opinion that emotions are signs, and that I will experience whatever moods and emotions my system feels will take care of me at any point in time. It may be that the relevant emotion or mood for a situation is anxiety, for example. That is ok. It doesn’t mean that I have failed by experiencing anxiety. It means that, at that point in time, my system is taking care of me in the best way that it knows how. The key in this is in learning to notice the signs and learning to shift to more resourceful ways of being and doing. This, I think, is the piece that was missing for me when I first started to receive coaching. I thought that I shouldn’t be feeling anxious or doubting myself. However, what I have learnt is that feeling anxious and doubting myself were not the issue. The issue was I didn’t know how to access whatever was within me that could help me manage anxiety and self-doubt in the moment.
And so, when I ask myself what it means to be enough, the answer feels quite simple:
Being enough is about accepting that I have within me whatever is required in order to deal with any situation.
Further to this, I also accept that I may not have immediate access to whatever is within me that would be useful at any point in time. It could well be that whatever is required is locked away with a key that relates to my history, my experiences, my moods, my emotions, and so much more that makes me me. However, I accept that there is something within me somewhere that will be useful, and I know that I can find a way to access it. Sometimes, it might be easy to find the combination of language, emotions and body that provides the key. Sometimes, I may require a conversation with myself, a friend, or a coach before I can even establish part of the combination. However, regardless of what it takes to find that key, I know that the answer will always be within me. I now accept that, whatever situation arises, what is within me is enough and I give myself permission to search for and find the key that will unlock that.
Who am I?
I am a leadership and life coach, available for coaching and facilitation services. If you feel that it would be useful to have a conversation with me, please feel free to view my services on the Leading and Being website.