In an earlier post about writer’s block, I talked about a system that I had applied to my experience of writer’s block. My assessment is that it could potentially be useful in working through various brick walls, and so I decided to share it here in a post all of its very own. Apologies, it may sound like a repetition of the writer’s block post. My biggest concern was that it be obviously available on my blog to help those who may find it useful.
So,the method that I came up with is what I am currently calling “Declare and SOAR”. The name and the detail probably need some refinement, however it was useful for my writer’s block experience and so I have decided to run with it, even though it may not yet be perfect. (PS Being a perfectionist who is in acceptance about imperfection is very liberating!)
I have provided below the Declare and SOAR process that I have used previously. I have tried to include the detail around what the process is and why I think it is useful. I have not provided specific examples around how to use it. If you feel that you would like some examples, then this post may be useful. This is also one of the approaches that I take when I coach, and I am happy to be contacted by anyone who feels that a coaching conversation with me would be useful.
Step 1 – Declare the Brick Wall
A brick wall is something that we can see in our path, yet don’t quite understand how to deal with. We could see it as a problem, a major issue, a minor challenge, or whatever. It is something in our path that is challenging our understanding of what might be possible and is potentially not helping us to move forward at that point in time.
Declaring that we have a brick wall can be so powerful. To me, doing so feels as though I am giving myself permission to accept that there is something that isn’t quite working as I expected. I am declaring that I have an issue, and that I am going to be a learner and work through that issue.
Step 2 – Summarise The Stories and Opinions That You are Associating with the Brick Wall
Taking the time to understand everything that we are telling ourself and others about the situation can be helpful in gaining a full picture of what is going on for us. What are we saying to ourself about ourself in this situation> What are we saying about others? Why are we interpreting the situation in that way? How useful is that interpretation for us? How would we like to be interpreting the situation? What is missing in order for us to interpret the situation in that way?
Step 3 – Observe YOur Moods and Emotions SUrrounding Your Experience of the Brick Wall
Moods and emotions underpin everything that we do. This includes every decision that we make, every word that we speak, and every action that we take. Moods in particular tend to wait in the background, quietly informing our actions without us even realising that they are there. By taking time out to really understand and explore the emotions that are present for us we can understand how our actions are being informed.
Step 4 – Pay Attention To What is Happening In YOur Body During your Experience of The BRick Wall
All of our thoughts, stories, opinions, feelings, moods and emotions are embodied within us. Our moods, emotions and actions may be pages in the stories of our life. Our body is the library in which the stories and all of their pages are stored. Just as the far right corner of our local library may be overflowing with children’s books, there are parts of our body that may be overflowing with stories of anxiety, resignation, childhood disappointment, and the like. If we know that some of the children’s books in the library are now obsolete, we can remove the books and rearrange that corner of the library in a way that is more serving of those that use it. Similarly, if we can identify what the impact is to the various parts of our body, we can shift how those stories are sitting in our body so that our body is more able to serve us. For example, right now, I am feeling an incredible tightness across my shoulders. What is it that I am holding in my body that is resulting in my shoulders being tight and tense? How can I adjust my body such that I can remove this tenseness and free my body up to serve me? What moods and emotions and personal stories would it be helpful for me to shift so that my body is free to serve me?
Step 5 – Reflect on Your Observations and Reset
I am wondering whether a more appropriate name for this step is “Reflect on your observations and reset your reality”. We create our reality from the actions that we take. In all of the previous steps, the aim was to try and understand what is behind the reality that is being created for our current brick wall. What is behind us deciding that it was a brick wall in the first place? What is preventing us from simply scaling the brick wall? What is within us that would be useful in managing how we deal with the brick wall? What is the reality that we want to create about the brick wall? In this step, we pull all of that together and apply our learning so that we can move forward with our reality of the brick wall.
Who am I?
I am a leadership and life coach, available for coaching and facilitation services. If you feel that it would be useful to have a conversation with me, please feel free to view my services on the Leading and Being website.