Self-judgement. It has partnered with me for a very large part of my life. Unlike other emotions and feelings, I don’t always recognise that it is there. Perhaps that is because, in my body, it feels a lot like anxiety; anxiety on steroids.
Recently, I have been feeling quite at peace with life. I love my current job, we have just had a fantastic holiday, and I have finally accepted that the path that I am creating with my business is a path that works for me. And so last week I found myself driving into work feeling as though there was a huge amount of inner peace present.
As I reflected on my business goals and where I was going with them, I noticed that there was something else. Something that I couldn’t put my finger on.
Eventually, it came to me. For the first time in a long time, I was not sitting in self-judgement. There was no self-judgement about my business, about the path that I am creating, or about my goals. Instead there was peace, and an acceptance that I am who I am, doing what works for me. Acceptance that I am going to achieve my goals, in my own time and at my own pace.
What was interesting for me was that I had not previously noticed that the self-judgement was there. I was only noticing its absence.
This led me to reflecting on the year to date and where self-judgement may have been holding me back. Finally, I could see it.
So many times throughout the year, self-judgement had been walking along beside me, slowly and meticulously removing any semblance of self-belief that may have fallen in its path. And I hadn’t even noticed.
This new place of peace and acceptance seems to be an amazing place. I am curious about what I can create. I am accepting that I don’t yet know the answers to everything that lies in my path. I am admiring of myself for continuing to “give it a go”.
And so this led me to wondering: Where are you holding self-judgement? What does it feel like? How is it helping you?
As a leadership and life coach, I help others to see new possibilities. If you feel that it would be useful to have a conversation with me, please feel free to view my services on the Leading and Being website.