Understanding what is going on in my way of being has been key for me throughout my self-doubt journey. Without this, I don’t think that I would have experienced the transformation that I believe I have experienced during the past few years.

In the early days, before I had developed this as a regular practice, I had a reminder in my phone so that I could deliberately take time to check in on what was going on within me. These days, it tends to be more in the moment, in response to what I am noticing about myself as I continue to be an observer of myself.

Sometimes, I notice things about myself that suggest that I should deliberately stop what I am doing and check in with what is going on for me. This morning was one of those times for me. As I checked in on my way of being, I realised that there are some things that would be helpful for me to do differently during the next couple of weeks. I have a full time job and a lot of tasks and goals that I am trying to achieve in my spare time. My way of being check suggested to me that perhaps it was time to prioritise a few things, and maybe even allow myself to have some actual spare time for a couple of weeks.

So, my declaration is that I am reducing my load during the next two weeks. For this blog, it means that, for the next two weeks, I will definitely post my Talkback Tuesday posts and won’t be posting other posts during this time. There may be some bonus posts, however the Talkback Tuesday posts will definitely happen. I will return with my other regular posts on 8 July. During the next two weeks, I am going to focus on my family, some other aspects of my business that I have been neglecting, and my personal contributions to some of the ontological discussions with which I am involved. I am also going to focus on me, and having some spare time.

As I made these declarations, I could feel some of what I had noticed in my way of being check start to shift. My shoulders seemed to automatically loosen, and my torso elongated slightly. A good start, in my opinion.

It occurred to me that the way of being check may be useful for readers of this blog. So please find below the check that I used, with some notes that will hopefully be of use.

Way of Being Check

I take 2-5 minutes to be still and really take notice of what is happening for me within the domains of language, emotions and body. Below are the questions that I use.

Language

Language refers to the thoughts, judgements and opinions that are going on inside your head; the conversations that you are having with yourself.

• What conversations are you having with yourself right now?
• What are you saying to yourself?
• What are you saying to yourself about others?
• What are you saying to yourself about your day?

Emotional Spaces

The aim of this check is to determine what is going on for you within your emotional spaces?

• What do you notice happening for you emotionally right now?
• If you were asked to label the emotions that you are experiencing, what label would you give to each of them?
• If you were asked to describe your underlying mood, how would you describe it? What name would you give to it?

Feelings in the Body

With this check, we aim to understand what we are feeling in our body. Where are the judgements and emotions that we are holding on to sitting? How is this helping us?

• Mentally scanning from head to toe, pausing to check what is happening throughout your body. What do you feel in your: Head? Face? Jaw? Shoulders? Upper back? Torso? Stomach? Lower back? Pelvis? Legs? Toes?
• What do you notice in your breathing?
• What else can you feel?
• What is happening in your posture?

At the end of the way of being check, I usually take some time to reflect on what I noticed in each domain. What did I notice? How is this helping me? What would be useful for me to do differently? From there, I might discover things that I can shift in each domain that might help me. Sometimes, I might think of other actions that could be useful. The key, for me, is in becoming aware of what is happening and what is and isn’t serving me because from there, the actions that I take become my choice.

As a leadership and life coach, these points are all points that I am able to help people to explore. If you feel that it would be useful to HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME, please feel free to visit my contacts page or view my services on the Leading and Being website.

Featured Image Source: Jay Castor on Unsplash